Being single is no different from being in a relationship – it comes with boons and banes. Take dating, for instance. I am enjoying the freedom of being emotionally unattached, and living the single life has given me a lot of perks: I have more time for myself and can play the field. That is, I can go out and date anyone I want. Being asked out by guys is, of course, flattering; but it can be a misfortune on my end because no matter how much I rely on my judgment when picking the guys I choose to date, some of my dating experiences have but turned out to be a disaster.
Take this guy whom I once went out with, for instance. Scraping gum off my shoe was probably even worth it than putting up with his constant bragging about himself and his assets, which he did the whole night. Another guy whom I once went on a first date with could have turned out to be a fine one – smartly dressed and a great conversationalist when, after a while, he brazenly popped the trite “my place or yours” question. If he thought I was an easy catch, he should’ve thought twice. Charge it to experience, I told myself, as there is definitely no possibility for second dates with these duds, thank you very much.
I am no dating pro. I have committed a fair share of dating boo-boos, too. But these experiences have taught me a lot, whether or not how bad they were.
A lot of people have wrong notions about the concept of dating, which probably explains why their experiences end up becoming a nightmare. Especially when going out on a date with someone you don’t really know on a personal level yet, you need to keep in mind that you are still getting to know the person so avoid anything that may appear too romantic or suggestive - even if you may already have previous conversations with him/her. You and your date want to be comfortable and appearing as though you want to rush into things can be off putting.
Also, keep in mind that first impressions are lasting. Wear something appropriate. Avoid overdressing or showing up as if you haven’t made a conscious effort to look the part for it. Be particular with your grooming and hygiene, too. Who wants to spend a date with someone who, say, stinks? Presentation can say a lot to your date, believe me.
Choosing a place may depend on whether you and your date want it in a formal or casual place. Whatever you go for, make sure that it is where both of you can talk well and easily. Some popular options can be at a cozy restaurant or a coffee shop. If, however, you want to meet over drinks, make sure you don’t get yourself or your date drunk.
Always pay attention to your date. Who likes a date who’s always on the phone or whose eyes are wandering here, there and everywhere? Perhaps the most important thing to a great date would be good conversation. You and your date should have something to talk about. That way, you can establish common ground. But you need to be careful with what you open up about or ask. Unless you really, really, really know your date, avoid asking or opening up about financial troubles, work woes, family problems or previous relationship traumas. You don’t want to be mistaken for someone being needy, desperate or psychotic. Also, you might want to go easy on your “I’s.” I think the reason why some people do this rather annoying thing is in order to impress their dates. I don’t know about you, people but this just doesn’t work for me. After all, dating is not just all about you – it is also about knowing your date too.
Whether or not the date turns out well, thank your date for the time. If you are no longer interested in going on another date, don’t be impolite nor keep his/her hopes up for another date.
A book I can very much relate my dating experiences to is the self-published book, Diary of Dating by D.G. Elizabeth. This book chronicles the highs and lows of a woman’s dating adventures. Like her, I am learning so many valuable lessons and becoming more aware of what I really want not just in a relationship but in my life in general as well. And while I may still love the season I am in, who knows, I may be able to find that so-called ‘Mr. Right’ from my dating adventures.
Don't keep that great story all to yourself.
Take this guy whom I once went out with, for instance. Scraping gum off my shoe was probably even worth it than putting up with his constant bragging about himself and his assets, which he did the whole night. Another guy whom I once went on a first date with could have turned out to be a fine one – smartly dressed and a great conversationalist when, after a while, he brazenly popped the trite “my place or yours” question. If he thought I was an easy catch, he should’ve thought twice. Charge it to experience, I told myself, as there is definitely no possibility for second dates with these duds, thank you very much.
I am no dating pro. I have committed a fair share of dating boo-boos, too. But these experiences have taught me a lot, whether or not how bad they were.
A lot of people have wrong notions about the concept of dating, which probably explains why their experiences end up becoming a nightmare. Especially when going out on a date with someone you don’t really know on a personal level yet, you need to keep in mind that you are still getting to know the person so avoid anything that may appear too romantic or suggestive - even if you may already have previous conversations with him/her. You and your date want to be comfortable and appearing as though you want to rush into things can be off putting.
Also, keep in mind that first impressions are lasting. Wear something appropriate. Avoid overdressing or showing up as if you haven’t made a conscious effort to look the part for it. Be particular with your grooming and hygiene, too. Who wants to spend a date with someone who, say, stinks? Presentation can say a lot to your date, believe me.
Choosing a place may depend on whether you and your date want it in a formal or casual place. Whatever you go for, make sure that it is where both of you can talk well and easily. Some popular options can be at a cozy restaurant or a coffee shop. If, however, you want to meet over drinks, make sure you don’t get yourself or your date drunk.
Always pay attention to your date. Who likes a date who’s always on the phone or whose eyes are wandering here, there and everywhere? Perhaps the most important thing to a great date would be good conversation. You and your date should have something to talk about. That way, you can establish common ground. But you need to be careful with what you open up about or ask. Unless you really, really, really know your date, avoid asking or opening up about financial troubles, work woes, family problems or previous relationship traumas. You don’t want to be mistaken for someone being needy, desperate or psychotic. Also, you might want to go easy on your “I’s.” I think the reason why some people do this rather annoying thing is in order to impress their dates. I don’t know about you, people but this just doesn’t work for me. After all, dating is not just all about you – it is also about knowing your date too.
Whether or not the date turns out well, thank your date for the time. If you are no longer interested in going on another date, don’t be impolite nor keep his/her hopes up for another date.
A book I can very much relate my dating experiences to is the self-published book, Diary of Dating by D.G. Elizabeth. This book chronicles the highs and lows of a woman’s dating adventures. Like her, I am learning so many valuable lessons and becoming more aware of what I really want not just in a relationship but in my life in general as well. And while I may still love the season I am in, who knows, I may be able to find that so-called ‘Mr. Right’ from my dating adventures.
Don't keep that great story all to yourself.Share it. Reveal it . Publish it.
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3 comments:
Just wanted you to know I came across your blog via the internet, and I was very pleased to see that you posted my book in your article/blogging, way cool!!!!
If you would like to get ahold of me, please contact me at the email below.
Great blog by the way!
Dairyofdating@yahoo.com
: )
D.G. Elizabeth
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