How to REALLY seduce a guy

I came across a book by Jessica Rowling entitled “Seduction: How to Seduce the Man of your Dreams”. In her book, she mentioned that the way to become a woman of every man’s dream is to be the “prettiest, thinnest girl possible”.

In the book, Rowling quotes “…every man wants the prettiest girl they can find. You need to accept this is how men are, unless you want to be lonely or spend the rest of your life dating men who are below you.”

Rowling stresses that men are superficial and they are naturally drawn to pretty and thin women. And so if a lady truly wants to be who any man desires, she has to be perfect – meaning you need to have the perfect body, the perfect wardrobe and pheromone levels.

For a moment, I wanted to meet the author and engage in an intellectual debate with her. I can understand that for some reasons, Rowling means well and probably just wants to help any girl out there who wants to get the man she desires or be the woman every man wants, for that matter. But frankly, I don’t think I’d want myself to be with that kind of man (again).

There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to look good, of course. I think every woman should be conscious of how she looks, but not to a level of excess. Who’s stopping you from wanting to have a gorgeous body like Jessica Alba’s or pampering yourself in a salon or getting a nice wardrobe?

Yes, men are highly visual creatures. There always has to be some sort of physical attraction involved to catch his attention. What I don’t get though, is the notion of ladies having to change for other people, let alone the men, just to put them in the throes of seduction.

Why not change for yourself?

It’s also the same as wanting to get pin-thin only because it’s what is mostly accepted as the standard of beauty. How many girls have turned out to become ‘something’ instead of someone they truly are because others have imposed upon them the need to change?

Why not change for yourself?

It’s not even worth trying to look good for, much less, seduce a superficial man – who measures a woman only on how she looks on the outside. Come to think of it, even if you have successfully seduced that so-called man of your dreams, how can you be so sure he’s going to stay with you through attractive and unattractive times? (Let’s admit it ladies, we all do have our ugly moments, too).

I am not keen with the idea of seducing a guy, unless there is an established connection between the two of us (winks). There are instances when people would ask me who I am trying to seduce with how I look, how I talk or how I act around everyone else. If a guy happens to notice, well thank you, it's flattering.

Change starts with yourself. It is when you have truly learned to love yourself, flaws and all, that other people will accept and truly love you. Look good because you want to, not because it’s what you think will appeal to men or please others. When you learn to love yourself, you naturally exude a positive vibe that people will find it hard not to notice. Who knows, you will finally be able to snag a man who will take you for who you are and not for what you have.

How to seduce a guy? Don’t even try, at the very least not too hard at all.

Work it!

I love and live to eat. Food always gives me an all-time high. Other than writing, food magnifies my happiness and triumphs, soothes my anger and comforts me in my fleeting bouts of sadness or depression. And when it comes to ‘good’ food, there is just no stopping me.

You see, I was fat from high school until I finished college, but I didn’t care. Well-meaning people would often tell me to go easy on my food intake, but I paid them no mind. I would keep telling myself never to deprive myself of the things that make life worth living – fast food, chocolates, ice cream, you name it. It wasn’t until I realized most of my clothes no longer fit me and became the butt of jokes among my friends because I was fat in all the wrong places. I knew I had to lose weight.


So I skipped meals. It was, to me, the only way to shed off the pounds. Exercise was never an option. I went to work without eating breakfast, stayed in front of my office computer while my workmates were having lunch and hit the sack very early so that I didn’t have to eat dinner. The only thing I ate throughout those days were crackers to assuage my churning tummy. Also, it must have been a hidden blessing to find out that my then-boyfriend had been playing around as it made me lose the slightest appetite I had left of me. In as early as two months, I went from plump to svelte.


It was overwhelming, a dramatic boost to my self-esteem. I became more confident about myself and around other people. I was finally able to wear those clothes I only dreamt of wearing back then. My long-time crush, who never noticed me in high school because I was fat, was suddenly all over me and I kept him drooling like a mad dog. My friends could only marvel at my transformation, and often ask me how I did it. But I never told them. Of course, even someone with half the brain would know I lost weight the wrong way. My triumph didn’t last long though. On one ordinary day, I complained about stomach pain. And when I could no longer help it, I got so sick that I had to be rushed to the hospital. The doctor told me I had ulcer.


“You’ve been dieting too much”, I was told. My life would never be the same anymore and it was harder than I thought. But I knew I had to bear with the consequences. My lifestyle had to turn 360 degrees around.


Thankfully now, I no longer rely on medicines nor religiously stick to my meal schedules as I used to just to keep myself from going through those pain episodes. I can now go back to eating food my doctor has told me to steer clear from (in moderate proportions, of course). I never want to be fat again but I will never go back to how I lost weight the unhealthy way. I still hate to exercise though, my lifestyle being sedentary at the best right now. But I have been really trying to get my body working up a sweat, slowly yet steadily. Little by little I’m becoming smarter about the decisions I make not just in keeping the pounds off but in my health, in general.

The Xlibris book “The Diet Docs and the Amazing Metabolic Transformation” by Joe Klemczewski, Ph.D and J. Scott Uloth, M.D. can give you a leg up on what you need to know about shedding it off and keeping it off. With the right blend of straight, factual information and light, no-nonsense humor, this book can help you achieve a diet plan that you can easily attain and sustain.

I still love and live to eat. And when it comes to food, I will never deprive myself of what I believe really makes life worth living – in moderation of course. And while some remain that they’d rather be “fat and happy”, I’d be happier with the healthy route.

Image source: Xlibris.com

Of Dating Boo-boos

Being single is no different from being in a relationship – it comes with boons and banes. Take dating, for instance. I am enjoying the freedom of being emotionally unattached, and living the single life has given me a lot of perks: I have more time for myself and can play the field. That is, I can go out and date anyone I want. Being asked out by guys is, of course, flattering; but it can be a misfortune on my end because no matter how much I rely on my judgment when picking the guys I choose to date, some of my dating experiences have but turned out to be a disaster.

Take this guy whom I once went out with, for instance. Scraping gum off my shoe was probably even worth it than putting up with his constant bragging about himself and his assets, which he did the whole night. Another guy whom I once went on a first date with could have turned out to be a fine one – smartly dressed and a great conversationalist when, after a while, he brazenly popped the trite “my place or yours” question. If he thought I was an easy catch, he should’ve thought twice. Charge it to experience, I told myself, as there is definitely no possibility for second dates with these duds, thank you very much.

I am no dating pro. I have committed a fair share of dating boo-boos, too. But these experiences have taught me a lot, whether or not how bad they were.

A lot of people have wrong notions about the concept of dating, which probably explains why their experiences end up becoming a nightmare. Especially when going out on a date with someone you don’t really know on a personal level yet, you need to keep in mind that you are still getting to know the person so avoid anything that may appear too romantic or suggestive - even if you may already have previous conversations with him/her. You and your date want to be comfortable and appearing as though you want to rush into things can be off putting.

Also, keep in mind that first impressions are lasting. Wear something appropriate. Avoid overdressing or showing up as if you haven’t made a conscious effort to look the part for it. Be particular with your grooming and hygiene, too. Who wants to spend a date with someone who, say, stinks? Presentation can say a lot to your date, believe me.

Choosing a place may depend on whether you and your date want it in a formal or casual place. Whatever you go for, make sure that it is where both of you can talk well and easily. Some popular options can be at a cozy restaurant or a coffee shop. If, however, you want to meet over drinks, make sure you don’t get yourself or your date drunk.

Always pay attention to your date. Who likes a date who’s always on the phone or whose eyes are wandering here, there and everywhere? Perhaps the most important thing to a great date would be good conversation. You and your date should have something to talk about. That way, you can establish common ground. But you need to be careful with what you open up about or ask. Unless you really, really, really know your date, avoid asking or opening up about financial troubles, work woes, family problems or previous relationship traumas. You don’t want to be mistaken for someone being needy, desperate or psychotic. Also, you might want to go easy on your “I’s.” I think the reason why some people do this rather annoying thing is in order to impress their dates. I don’t know about you, people but this just doesn’t work for me. After all, dating is not just all about you – it is also about knowing your date too.

Whether or not the date turns out well, thank your date for the time. If you are no longer interested in going on another date, don’t be impolite nor keep his/her hopes up for another date.

A book I can very much relate my dating experiences to is the self-published book, Diary of Dating by D.G. Elizabeth. This book chronicles the highs and lows of a woman’s dating adventures. Like her, I am learning so many valuable lessons and becoming more aware of what I really want not just in a relationship but in my life in general as well. And while I may still love the season I am in, who knows, I may be able to find that so-called ‘Mr. Right’ from my dating adventures.

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